I have not experienced a friendship with a couple that got a divorce.
This relationship you know of is really disappointing.
I am 70 now. I just took care of my long wedded parents into their late 90's and in so, met others, of long marriages.
The only marriage that I thought troublesome was my oldest sister's marriage to her controlling husband who was also very immature, extremely arrogant guy. Anyway, I know my sister was miserable but in the end, when she was 48, God sent the angels and snatched her up.
She had a stroke. Both of them were so hard headed, they would not quit smoking. After she had a stroke, well, even though doctors insisted they quit, they continued. It was disgusting.
Anyway, I think this marriage is a sad one.
I think there are a lot of people that feel like they should tough it out, but when I see my marriage and my parents marriage, I savor the feeling of being with someone I love, as my parents did. Divorce is stressful and ... gosh, really life is stressful enough.
I considered naming this post A Bad, Sad Marriage, because yes, it is sad. I'm so happy to know of good, happy, in it for the long haul still loving, showing respect and patience marriages, because let's face it, none of us are perfect all the time, if ever. It takes grit and determination to see it through and I admire those who do. I'm very happy to know you have a happy marriage. It really helps to have parents whose marriage was a good example for you.
My husband and I just had our 50th anniversary in December. Has it been wonderful? A few times. Has it been horrible? A few times. Mostly it's just been daily, doing all the things that a family needs to do. One thing I think I've learned from watching other couples and specially those who get divorced, is that no matter who you're with you're going to fight, you're going to disagree, you're going to have arguments, and you're going to be miserable sometimes. The something I think people forget is that comet especially if they have children, they need to do the best they can for those children. They made the decision to get married and should now stand up and be adults. My brother said that he learned one of the most important things in a marriage is to not speak negatively about your spouse in front of the children. They end up just disrespecting you. I think the most important thing in marriage is the belief in God. He is able to help. He is able to work miracles. He is able to show you right and wrong in your marriage. If one of the couple decides to try to save the marriage there are ways to do it. You have to set an example for the other partner. Offer praying with them. Take over some of their responsibilities when they're struggling. There are times when it only takes one partner to save the marriage my working as an example. I don't mean by allowing the other one to take advantage. I mean by showing yourself to be a loving partner to the other whether you feel the love or not. I wish more people would realize these things.
I do, too. I was married for nearly 34 years, but probably at least the last decade we had reached a point of being congenial roommates. We had always had a great deal of harmony between us, especially all through the years we were raising our son. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate our marriage a solid 7. There are many reasons particular to our circumstances that led to our divorce, but we are still friends. I still wish we could have held it together, and in truth it's my fault that we didn't. I regret that.
What an absolute mess. I don't think there is a better word to describe it. I, too, cannot understand. Forget the money, forget the business, forget what could happen with the grown children and get the heck out if there is this much misery. I divorced 26 years ago and have been very happy since.... alone. I love it!
I think of my parents before my mom died: their marriage was nothing like this. Neither was her sister's, my aunt, who was still holding hands with my uncle into old age. She died of turbo ALS. My dad's best friend just celebrated 65 years of marriage and from what I can see, he and his wife are both very happy. It's out there, but the people you described seem to have missed that boat.
I think marriages have the best chance of survival when the couple have parents whose marriages were stable and harmonious. In my friend's case, his parents were a mess and the only thing that kept him from a life of squalor, jail or early death was the decision his dad made, after his wife walked out, to put my friend and his siblings in a Christian children's home. He was 6 years old. That's probably what saved him.
His wife did grow up in a stable family - not sure how happy or harmonious it was, though.
Like you, I am baffled by their decision to stay together.
Sad.
I have not experienced a friendship with a couple that got a divorce.
This relationship you know of is really disappointing.
I am 70 now. I just took care of my long wedded parents into their late 90's and in so, met others, of long marriages.
The only marriage that I thought troublesome was my oldest sister's marriage to her controlling husband who was also very immature, extremely arrogant guy. Anyway, I know my sister was miserable but in the end, when she was 48, God sent the angels and snatched her up.
She had a stroke. Both of them were so hard headed, they would not quit smoking. After she had a stroke, well, even though doctors insisted they quit, they continued. It was disgusting.
Anyway, I think this marriage is a sad one.
I think there are a lot of people that feel like they should tough it out, but when I see my marriage and my parents marriage, I savor the feeling of being with someone I love, as my parents did. Divorce is stressful and ... gosh, really life is stressful enough.
I considered naming this post A Bad, Sad Marriage, because yes, it is sad. I'm so happy to know of good, happy, in it for the long haul still loving, showing respect and patience marriages, because let's face it, none of us are perfect all the time, if ever. It takes grit and determination to see it through and I admire those who do. I'm very happy to know you have a happy marriage. It really helps to have parents whose marriage was a good example for you.
My husband and I just had our 50th anniversary in December. Has it been wonderful? A few times. Has it been horrible? A few times. Mostly it's just been daily, doing all the things that a family needs to do. One thing I think I've learned from watching other couples and specially those who get divorced, is that no matter who you're with you're going to fight, you're going to disagree, you're going to have arguments, and you're going to be miserable sometimes. The something I think people forget is that comet especially if they have children, they need to do the best they can for those children. They made the decision to get married and should now stand up and be adults. My brother said that he learned one of the most important things in a marriage is to not speak negatively about your spouse in front of the children. They end up just disrespecting you. I think the most important thing in marriage is the belief in God. He is able to help. He is able to work miracles. He is able to show you right and wrong in your marriage. If one of the couple decides to try to save the marriage there are ways to do it. You have to set an example for the other partner. Offer praying with them. Take over some of their responsibilities when they're struggling. There are times when it only takes one partner to save the marriage my working as an example. I don't mean by allowing the other one to take advantage. I mean by showing yourself to be a loving partner to the other whether you feel the love or not. I wish more people would realize these things.
I do, too. I was married for nearly 34 years, but probably at least the last decade we had reached a point of being congenial roommates. We had always had a great deal of harmony between us, especially all through the years we were raising our son. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate our marriage a solid 7. There are many reasons particular to our circumstances that led to our divorce, but we are still friends. I still wish we could have held it together, and in truth it's my fault that we didn't. I regret that.
What an absolute mess. I don't think there is a better word to describe it. I, too, cannot understand. Forget the money, forget the business, forget what could happen with the grown children and get the heck out if there is this much misery. I divorced 26 years ago and have been very happy since.... alone. I love it!
I think of my parents before my mom died: their marriage was nothing like this. Neither was her sister's, my aunt, who was still holding hands with my uncle into old age. She died of turbo ALS. My dad's best friend just celebrated 65 years of marriage and from what I can see, he and his wife are both very happy. It's out there, but the people you described seem to have missed that boat.
So sad!
I think marriages have the best chance of survival when the couple have parents whose marriages were stable and harmonious. In my friend's case, his parents were a mess and the only thing that kept him from a life of squalor, jail or early death was the decision his dad made, after his wife walked out, to put my friend and his siblings in a Christian children's home. He was 6 years old. That's probably what saved him.
His wife did grow up in a stable family - not sure how happy or harmonious it was, though.
Like you, I am baffled by their decision to stay together.